In my blog – So you’re engaged – what happens next? – I suggested that a wedding planner is a great idea. Remember I am not talking about a person here but a calendar or an app to help you keep track of your deadlines.
The most important part of the day is the moment when you look into each other’s eyes and commit yourselves to being a married couple. Everything else you do on the day – flowers, dress, venue, cake, reception etc – is all there to celebrate that one moment. So in reality the most important decision is how you will celebrate that moment and much of that depends on your choice of celebrant. So don’t leave that until the last decision because then you may not get the person you want and deserve to give you your dream. While they will not do all the wedding planning for you (that is the role of a wedding planner and comes at a much greater cost), a good celebrant will help guide you through the maze of decisions and assist in keeping you calm through the process so you can enjoy your preparation and because of this, they are snapped up very quickly. My promise to you is that I will be there for you through the whole journey guiding you both personally and through the Wedding Train. So contact me now at Life Celebrations with Joy and we can start to plan the perfect ceremony for you.
Anyhow after that shameless piece of advertising, back to the planning process. You may think “I’m an organized person so why do I need to do that?”. Well let me tell you in a nutshell. Some of the most important decisions you will make on that day involve guests, venue and budget. So think about the order – does your budget decide how many guests you invite and then you choose your venue to suit numbers or is it the other way round – you choose your venue and its capacity dictates the number of guests you can have which then decides your budget. Alternatively do you decide on the size of your wedding and then fit the venue, the number of guests and the budget? Or do you choose a budget wedding which restricts the choices available. Once you have decided this then you still have to decide on all the other things – the dress, the flowers, the size of the bridal party, the cake etc. So you see it can get very confusing if you are not organized.
So let’s start the process. First of all remember there are 2 of you involved and you both need to be happy. So take a bit of time together to work out what is important.
Find a quiet spot together, grab some paper and a coffee, a beer, a wine or whatever else you drink and individually imagine yourself on your perfect wedding ceremony.
What do see – lots of people? Just a few friends? Bushland? The beach? Your backyard? People in Star Wars outfits? – write it down.
What do you hear? The ocean? Music? Children playing? Birds singing? – write it down.
What do you smell? Flowers? Salt air? Freshly cut grass or hay? Expensive perfumes? – write it down.
Now write down what is really important to you – up to 5 things and write them down. Some of these may come from what you have written down above while other things will also be important. They might include having your children or pets involved; being close enough that everyone can come; having your wedding and reception at the same place; stunning views for wedding photos; keeping to a strict budget; going to a particular destination.
Now you have done that compare your lists with each other.
Hopefully you will have at least a few answers that are the same so highlight those.
Then talk about the other answers. Resolve the ones that are similar but different first so if one of you wants to get married at Surfers Paradise and one wants to get married at Southbank talk through it. They both have beaches, people, water etc so adapt to each other and decide together. The art of compromise is very important in married life so this is a good time to learn it.
If your answers are wildly different then it may take a bit longer and a few more bottles of wine. But the important thing is to really listen to each other’s reasons and see where you are prepared to give a little. Wherever you get married and however you do it, never forget this is your wedding day and you will have those memories forever so try to organise it so that you both have wins and you are both happy.
When you have your list of absolute requirements then you can start the search for a venue, think about guests, decide on the type of wedding you want and think about costs.
So our next chapter of The Wedding Train will explore a few of these wedding planning requirements in more details. See you then.